This week is the 1st week of my final exam…my 2nd last final exam in uni but I am way not prepared for it. For the past months in this 7th semester, I have got too many assignments and projects, way more that what I could handle. Though many of my friends would see me very much like past semesters, well no. I looked tough and seem like able to cope…but I am not. I have suffered a lot. I was trying to catch my breath here and there. What I could do was just do my best, submit all that I could afford to produce. I could no longer push myself for more.
And tomorrow I will be sitting for my first paper, High Speed Network but now I could not concentrate at all.
I am worried for my sister. She is admitted to the Pantai Cheras Hospital. I am not sure of what happen to her but I just can’t help but to feel bad for her. Why does she have to go through all this pain? Her vertigo attack was getting worse. She was not well since yesterday and we console each other saying that she needs more rest but not until today morning, I got her call. She said she is not well and has been vomiting since early morning. And very stupid of me to actually ask her what time she wants to go over to Dr Long and she answered any time. I have never thought of the severity and I told her I will be over in an hour.
I guessed she was too tired even to question why I need a whole hour to go over and just agreed to it.
Arriving at her house in Bkt Jalil, I called her again and asked her down. This time in a weak tone, she said she is not able to go down by herself. Then I started to get really worried about her. I quickly parked my car and went up.
Looking at her condition, I was numbed. I didn’t expect that she was in such a terrible condition. She has been vomiting since 6 and it was 11 then. I quickly dressed her and led her down to my car and sped of to Pantai Hospital.
Finally, we met Dr Long, my sister’s doctor on ENT. She has been seeing this doctor since 2 years ago when she first discover about her ear problem which further caused the vertigo. During that time, I was not with her most of the time as I was in the mid of exam, so I didn’t actually understand how she felt. Luckily, she recovered very quickly.
So after consulting Dr Long, she was admitted. After she has settled down, I went back to her house to get her clothing and toiletries. Thinking back, I was still taking my own sweet time just now. Perhaps I still have not registered the severances of the strike on my mind and acted like normally on my usual pace.
I went to the hospital again with her things and bought her ‘Kuey Teow Sup’. We chatted for awhile. I left at about 4.30pm and headed to the Cheras Leisure mall to buy her the Baskin Robbins ice cream that she has dreamed of having. We have been having this crave and waited for so long for this 31% promo from Baskin Robbins. So I decided to buy it and keep it for her. I wanted to celebrate her discharge with the ice cream. I just wished that she can have it by tomorrow.
I just couldn’t continue writing this anymore.
I still can’t help to blame myself for not being there at most of the time when she needs me, to blame myself for taking things so easily, to blame myself for not listening to her. I have always been so kind towards others, but when it comes to my family, I just black off. We have been so strong until I could not believe that we too have down time and need each other by our side.
I want this page to serve as a reminder to myself as well as every one out there that there is nothing more valuable than our family members and their health. I don’t want any other thing more than their health.
my beloved sister
